As a recovering sufferer of the Super-Woman syndrome…and (I have to admit) not always in recovery…’asking’ is not as simple as it sounds.
From kids to kilos, do you carry the heaviest load?
And I don’t mean your body weight!
It probably started with a dare. You know, boys against girls kind of thing. Bet you can’t lift this? Boys are stronger than girls, right?
So I did. Again and again. And proved myself to be as strong as anyone.
And when I realized that strength wasn’t just physical, at whatever age, it didn’t help much.
I remember the first day I flopped down on my bed, after midnight and realized that I hadn’t sat down all day. In fact, this was the first moment since breakfast that I had actually sat, apart from about 10 minutes over dinner.
I thought I would feel satisfaction, a good job done. But I didn’t. I was just exhausted, worn out. It was like I’d missed the day somehow.
All I kept hearing was, I don’t know how you do it. You’re amazing. And that didn’t make me feel better either. Actually it made me feel disconnected.
Because I didn’t feel like I was me.
I felt like I was some kind of ‘doing’ machine. There was no time for being. There was no being.
It felt all wrong.
When I began to wake up to this, I made a decision and did two things differently.
Firstly, I started saying no. I’d never really done that before. When people asked, I always said yes. I was super-woman right? I could handle it.
Now I started saying no. It was amazing. The world didn’t end. No one got annoyed (or at least no one that mattered!). And I felt good.
And secondly, the biggy; I starting asking. Little things at first.
Help here and there. A cleaner, a babysitter, a virtual assistant.
I have to admit, at first I felt guilty. But I got used to it after a while. You know why? Because I started remembering how it felt to just be. To enjoy the moment. To sit when I needed to . To finish my cup of tea.
You see, I’m not talking about taking a week in a spa or having hours of quality me time every day. I’m talking about the small stuff.
And it made all the difference.
So what can you say no to this week?
What can you ask for?
Share your story here!