A Conversation on Story

This was a real conversation on how story works – I’d thought you’d enjoy reading – leave a comment and share please!

Lisa: And what do you feel stuck on right now. How can I help?what's your story

M: stuck. a lot of stuff has happened in my life. and i’m stuck about giving myself permission not to have to focus on it in my story. i actually want to focus on the good. i know there’s value in the other stuff. but, i don’t want to share it. like i don’t want to spread it around.

…that’s where i’m stuck. getting out of the sad story parts.

Lisa: I think the trick is to transform the sad parts of the story into something that feels empowering…even if it’s still sad. So the story becomes inspiring and powerful without feeling depressing, even if the topic is sad and painful.

M: how?

Lisa: that’s a lot of the work I do with my clients – to find the story and then learn how to tell it in a way that does NOT re-traumatize but in fact helps the person feel stronger.

M: will it have to be like a long story to kind of get to the point. how do i do that briefly.

….ppl don’t have time

Lisa : no, the story doesn’t have to be long…and anyway powerful stories don’t feel long (even if they are!)…it’s about getting to the real moment, the point and making it relevant to your audience

M: ok

Lisa: no one cares about the details of a long story….we get carried away by that because it’s what we remember, it’s how it happened in our memory…but that’s not always relevant

…what we need to focus on is the moment where something really happened, the shift, the awareness, (sometimes the pain) and tell about that moment, simply.

…how we show up in that moment is the key to powerful story and transforming painful stories too

M: are the ones that i choose dependent on me …or should i b choosing ones that are for a specific purpose

Lisa: it doesn’t really matter. In the process I use, we look at a variety of moments…you can see a pattern, core themes…they are what I call the story of you. it happens all the time, big moments or small moments.

…then you can chose to tell a moment that’s specifically relevant to your audience, but first understand your core story.

Lisa: and be truly present to that story

M: ok

…it just kind of came together in the past couple of months

…after like years of not understanding what was going on

Lisa: what happens in story, is that we see a thread through our lives – everything falls into place – I call it the golden thread…suddenly so many things that seemed random and disconnected take their place…

…it’s amazing, very powerful

…and in my belief, essential to uncover if you are going to be successful in your business

M: i see

Lisa: the thing about story, is that it reaches out and touches others. And when you can connect through story, you build trust, and it articulates your credibility and your authenticity. That makes business sense.

…So I encourage people starting a business (or building up an existing business) to uncover their story as a central part of the building block. So they can reach out and attract the right kind of following (and clients)

M: for sure, i was actually really surprised that you exist, like someone is actually focussing on this and relating it to business, i hadn’t ever imagined it

Lisa: yes, and it’s growing – I haven’t invented anything new, I just focus on that thing we all feel intuitively, know it to be true…I put some structure around it and teach how to actually do it!

…most people talk about how effective stories are, how important it is to tell a story – just very few people know how.

…I love it – it’s my life’s passion for sure!

Lisa Bloom: I believe that we all need to truly show up in our lives and businesses – for me it’s through authentic story.

M: hm

Lisa: …I share real stories

…and they’re not always pretty….

…but at the same time, I believe it’s really important to only share the stories that you’re ready to share.

M: have you ever really gotten really negative response for your “not pretty” stories?

…how to deal with the “haters”

Lisa: inappropriate intimacy in not comfortable for anyone.  As to your question…no, I don’t think so….  I mean, it’s not always comfortable to hear about something painful, especially if it triggers a painful experience in you…

…but it has to be relevant to the audience….

…and as for haters…

…I’ve come to realize that I can’t believe the haters or the lovers…there has to be self-acceptance…we can’t judge our relevance or worthiness on the basis of what others think or say….and that’s not as easy as it sounds!

M: hm

Lisa: so if I get a hate email…or nasty comment….happens sometimes….I delete immediately, don’t respond and then go distract myself with something positive…don’t take it in, don’t believe it as truth…it’s just their opinion and often their fear – nothing to do with me

M: ok

Lisa: what’s most important is to be of service to others.  I tell stories, not because I need to tell them, but because I believe they are a gift to others.

M: i like that

Lisa: they have the potential to support others…and I just happen to be really lucky to have been born with a gift of being able to tell the story….it’s not about me

M: right……about ‘it’s not about me’…can you expand on that

…is that because you feel connected to something greater, or do you feel that it’s you, but you just don’t attach

Lisa: well…kind of both.  What I mean is…let’s say I have a meaningful experience…where I’m moved…what makes it special is that I think to tell the story.  Everyone has these wonderful moments (or replace wonderful with painful, it doesn’t matter) but I get to tell the story so people remember their own experience, remember the things that are meaningful to them. It’s not really about my experience, it’s about their remembering of themselves….

…quite beautiful really…. if I’m telling because I believe the story is mine, the experience is mine, it’s all about ego and that’s boring.

…and uninspiring….

M: ah okay………so is it the belief….my own belief…that shift it for others……they will feel it…it has to come from within me…the intention

Lisa: so releasing the attachment and ownership because we are all in this beautiful, messy state of humanity …and yes, telling with the intention to serve others…that’s what it’s about…for me anyway!!!

M: ok

Lisa: so that requires discovering the story moment, and then crafting the story so that it ‘works’ and making sure it’s relevant to the listener…so they can create the meaning they need from the story…

M: i hadn’t thought about having an intention about story before

Lisa: super important

M: ok got it

…i have one kind of random question that just popped into my head.

Lisa : ok

M: can i do a kind of exercise of using story and erasing

Lisa: not sure what you mean…

M: like using story to erase energies, ppl, events, situations

…like it’s a story but it with the intention of release

Lisa: look story creates our reality…if you are experiencing a painful story, you are the author, you can change it.

Lisa: so the telling and retelling of story changes your reality. and yes you can transform your stories

M: okay

M: that’s really powerful

Lisa: it doesn’t mean you’re faking or somehow denying an experience….

…. it means that you are choosing to tell a story that serves you better

….we all tell stories that don’t serve us, we get super committed to these stories….

M: hm

Lisa: but we can tell them in a more powerful way – or dissolve them entirely – depends on the reality we get committed to creating

…very powerful stuff!

M: yep, thank you

Lisa: thank you for exploring story with me!

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