A Painful Reminder…

I was doing regular stuff.  I’d made the kids something to eat, I was just tidying up a few of the things left lying around.  I reached over to put a book back in the shelf and I felt the jolt.  That familiar feeling, an over stretch, a slight tear, the stab of pain.

My back.

Oh what a long and complicated story I have with my back.

It never took much to put it out.

And the diagnosis never helped.

A slipped disc, a torn ligament, a strained muscle.

Makes no difference.

Just pain.

Discomfort, and the frustration of, here we go again and how long will it last this time.

Sometimes a day or two, sometimes a week or two.

Then came the summer that it lasted a full 6 weeks.

I was frantic.  I was functioning but it was constant, chronic pain.

And I couldn’t figure it out.

I was exercising mildly but regularly.  I was getting treatments of all kinds.  I had even resorted to a short period of constant medication.

It didn’t shift.  The pain went on and on.

Until that day.

I’ll never forget it.

My friend, a wise-woman, my mentor – we met that morning.  She gently guided me to see that my thoughts were the problem.

My back pain was the manifestation of my beliefs that I was unsupported, fragile, scared.

I was stunned, shocked and shaken to the core.

I recognized the truth.

I went home and sat in my garden and quietly contemplated the last 6 weeks.

I felt gratitude. I had needed the reminder, the pain that would lead me to the realization that it was my thoughts that were creating the problem.

I was telling myself a story of instability, lack of support and fear.  It wasn’t true but it lead me to pain, real pain.

All of a sudden I was truly thankful.  And I knew that I could release the pain, I didn’t need it anymore.  I needed to create a new story.  To find my support systems which are always plentiful, for all of us, if we notice and sometimes ask. To realize my stability and the fact that all was well.

After half an hour I stood up.  I was pain free.  It was gone.

Occasionally I get mild reminders. A kind of twinge in my back. Sometimes it’s more severe.  I’ve come to realize the pain as a blessing, a sign.

To work on my story.

To create a more powerful one that will release the pain.

What story do you need to change?

What pain can you release?