There are time
s when I have chosen to be mean. I have reacted with prejudice and lack of vision. I have been small minded and petty. There was no awareness, vision or enlightenment; they are moments I would much rather forget. And yet they remain, resonating through time and energy with a potent lack of generosity.
It does not make me proud.
It was a night to celebrate, the city alive with performance; music, dance, poetry. We roamed for hours drinking it in. The old woman and her daughter approached through the dancing crowd, hands extended, mumbling words that clearly they was used to saying. Her sick child, her poverty was her profession. I refused. Looked away.
And then the phone call. While I spoke with my kids. A young voice asking for a few minutes of my time. For a survey, some research. She sounded nervous. Perhaps her first job. Trying to improve service she said. I said no, I’m busy. I was not.
My son asking me to play a game with him. I said just a minute. He asked me again, I was busy. Then I had a meeting. He gave up.
Yes, moments that don’t make me proud, though perhaps make me human.
This week I have witnessed generosity that has shaken me to the core. Acts of kindness that remind me of faith, love and the desire to do better, to be more generous.
The guy in the coffee shop that connected me with a valuable resources.
The colleague that gifted me her program so I could experience the magic.
The so-called random business development meeting that landed me support, a thousand dollar program and future opportunities.
The invitation to join a mastermind group that immediately (within minutes) connected me to superstars in this industry.
The enlightened response to a phone conversation that suggested and invited me to play a much bigger game than I’ve been playing.
Witnessing the final weeks of a dying man as he chooses peace, love, and friendship as his journey. Everyday is a new opportunity for him to give and inspire by his courageous and beautiful last acts.
I am humbled and moved.
Miracles are all around us. Even at the worst of times. As we face our demons and the demons of others. Even as we see the churches burning, and sunbathing on a beach is life-threatening.
We can witness the world crumbling around us in acts of terror and violence and withdraw to a place of fear and numbness.
We we can see the miracles and reach out with generosity and love.
What do you choose?
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We all can look back on those not-so-proud-of-me moments. The main thing is to not let it drag you down. They are done. Rectify if possible. Pay it forward more often. Be present and generous with time, money, or whatever when you feel that connection to do so. Thanks for reminding us that we do mess up and can change. Indeed, look for those little miracles that are always present and waiting to be acknowledged.