Having to let go…hell

The original idea popped out of my mouth as if I had no control of my thoughts. But as I heard myself say it, I was amazed. Yes, this was the one I was waiting for. It was the idea that would change everything. letgo

As I heard myself describe it, as if I had spoken about it a million times, I felt giddy with excitement. I rushed back to my office and began to draw the plan and write out the details.

Then I spent months expanding and tweaking, scared to talk about it too much. Someone had once told me, if you tell everything about the plot you are developing, the book will never get written.

So I just kept it my little secret but it got me up in the morning and put a little smile on my face all day.

And finally it was complete.

I had an idea about creating circles for people to share their stories. It would be online and there was a whole community side to it. I was so excited. I bought a few domains and started to think about how it would work. I had topics and a framework, I even had ideas on how to monetize it.

It felt like the true expression of the work I wanted to do in the world. So, it was time to send it out into the world, or at least share it with a few friends and family members.

And that’s when it all started to fall apart.

As I shared, I found people to be mostly underwhelmed. And I was distraught and heartbroken with disappointment.

I tried again and again, but got no interest, no offers, no enthusiasm.

And mine began to dwindle.

Every now and again, I would go back to this idea, like searching your memories for moments of lost love, daydreaming about what life would have been like. Or losing yourself in your imagination of that ‘sliding doors’ moment where everything is different and it all worked out.

Finally, the realization that I had  to let go.

(and then finding that someone else had already done it – with much more fame and money and reach than I had)

I know this feeling. You have to let go of an idea that you so dearly love. And yet you want to hold on to a tiny bit of hope, but even the hope hurts too much.

Letting go can be the hardest thing in the world. Every stage in love and parenting and business requires it and yet it seems to be the most natural desire…. to hold on, hold on, hold on forever.

The project or friendship, or love, or expectation that just wasn’t quite what you had imagined or dreamed of.

You know the old saying, when one door closes, another opens? I guess it’s a bit like that.  And yet, though you know this, it still hurts.

I’ve seen that this has happened to me several times in my business. I have a wonderful idea, and it doesn’t work out. A new program that doesn’t sell, or a book that I can’t seem to get written. And every idea is a special love affair that’s so hard to walk away from.

The funny thing is, when you truly let go, there IS a space for something new to come in. Something often unexpected. Something quite delightful.

I’m here at this point again, so I’m looking forward to that.

I’d love to hear what you’re letting go of right now – I think it helps to share. You can do so below.

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4 comments on “Having to let go…hell

  1. Hello Lisa, You are singing my song and telling my story. I, too, wake up with GREAT ideas and plunge into fully giving them bones and flesh. Right now I am in the midst of a great project and revamping my website. It might work out and it might not (I know in my heart of hearts it will) 😉 The good news is I always learn a bunch of stuff as I do the research and marketing strategies to make it happen. Fortunately, I don’t chase fancies often and I do my homework before launching. But what a ride!

  2. I am letting go of my chameleon-self and finally allowing my Me-Self to show up and fill my presence in the world. It’s scary, but worthwhile!!

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