They say that the people you dislike most, the ones who really annoy and anger you – well, they are the people you will meet in heaven. The first time I heard that, I was furious. What on earth is that supposed to mean.
And the people that you have most conflict with, the ones who break your heart and tear your soul to pieces, well, they’re your greatest teachers.
Oh please, give me a break.
There are so many moments of huge irritation; the women who jumped the line, the guy who stole my wallet, the car that cut me out near the junction, the waiter so slow and rude, the salesperson incredibly pushy. There’s no end.
Sometimes I just feel like slapping someone. Hate to admit it but it’s true.
And when they tell me that this is supposed to serve me. That it’s supposed to help me grow and learn.
That drives me even more crazy.
But here’s what I’ve noticed, the story of what happens to us is not that interesting. The story of how we show up is absolutely fascinating.
In every moment we have the choice to harbor resentment, to nourish irritation, to move into fear. We always have the choice to be at war.
And there is another way. With a clear path to lead us there.
And where is there? It’s peace. It’s love. It’s the end of war.
Here’s how we do it:
- Observe the other person and your reaction to their words or behavior.
- Notice why and how it is triggering you – why does it bother you so much.
- When have you behaved this way and what was the outcome
- What are you afraid of – what’s the worst possible thing that could happen in this situation
- What can you learn from this.
This is not ‘spiritual’.
It’s not about being a nice person.
It’s about ending your suffering.
It’s really simple and totally possible. Just take a moment to try these 5 steps; you might find that the result is surprising and it might even change your life.
Can you imagine coming to love what irritates you most? Okay, you don’t have to love it!! But you can certainly get to feel curious when you start to feel annoyed. And that curiosity can bring the most wonderful gifts.
What drives you crazy? Share it here.
