It was love, true love – or at least that’s what we thought at the time. You know that feeling – your heart misses a beat when he walks in the room, you feel yourself blush when he looks over.
And when it happens, when you want to say what you feel but you’re not sure you should – he beats you too it.
Do you remember? Isn’t it delicious?
Well, I was ecstatic, deliriously happy and yet deep down, I didn’t want to think of the ‘real’ world. Our clashing cultures and background. Disapproving parents and the crystal clear message that it was simply inappropriate, impossible.
And my heart continued to skip beats, my insides melted and we felt pure joy.
The summer ended. I had to go home for a family gathering.
While I was there the pressure mounted and I decided to take a job.
A short term separation won’t kill our love, I said.
Two weeks later, he stopped answering my calls.
Two weeks after that, he admitted that he’d met someone else. It was true love he said.
I was devastated. I was beside myself. He had left me and I was bereft.
That was the story I told myself for years.
One day, in a country far away, at a different stage of my life, I found myself telling the story of my love leaving me. I told the story the way I had always told the story. I was the victim.
My friend said 4 words that shook my world – ‘so YOU left him’.
What? I left him?
And in that moment I realized that it was true and quite opposite to the story I had been telling for years.
I did leave him.
I went home. I chickened out. I took the job. I made the separation.
He simply got on with his life.
What a shift.
It’s amazing how our stories create our reality. And often not the reality that serves us best.
I had been disempowered by this experience for years and it affected the relationships I had gotten into and the level of trust I held for others.
I had been telling a story that kept me fearful of connection and love. This realization changed EVERYTHING.
When we can identify a story that is holding us back, keeping us small, not allowing us live a full life to our greatest potential, we have the opportunity to transform the story.
This doesn’t mean pretending pain or challenge didn’t happen. It means telling the story from a perspective that serves you.
In truth it’s the difference between living a life filled with regret and bad memories and living an empowered life.
I know which one I prefer.
If you’re interested in learning all about how to transform your stories and the stories of your clients, join us for the webinar tomorrow.
and don’t forget to leave a comment below
