I’m coming out

For years people have suggested that my work has a spiritual aspect to it. I usually smile, shrug and move on. And then this happened. 

We were out running, my son and I. It was in the middle of the high holidays, usually a time for soul searching and contemplation.j

Even so, when he said it to me, I was quite surprised. Now lots of things he says to me surprise me, but this was near the top of the list of unexpected topics in that moment.

“I don’t know if I believe in God”, he said….

“But I’ve given myself these 10 days”…

“For what”, I asked.

“To find God” he said, very matter-of-factly.

“Okay….so where are you looking?” I asked.

“What do you mean?” he said.

“Where are you looking for God? do you think she’ll just show up?”

“What do you mean she?” he said.

And so the conversation went on – about how I don’t really see god as the old, white-haired, bearded guy sitting in the clouds. That maybe you have to look for something if you want to find it. That you might not find god in the xbox or on youtube videos. How maybe God’s everywhere and inside each of us.

And the conversation got me thinking. About my life, my relationship to God and of course my work.

Firstly, I realized that I find god in unexpected places. Not necessarily in a place of worship, or during a time of prayer. Not particularity when I am looking or when I feel a particular need or desire to find God.

I find God…

…in a smile, or an act of kindness…in a connecting glance…in a moment of unexpected honesty…at the beach…in the forest…out walking my dog in the morning…while doing my hanging-the-laundry-meditation…in the coffee shop watching people around me to the soundtrack of Leonard Cohen or Mozart…in an intense stomach ache…or a sadness I can no longer hold inside…in the squeal of pleasure or surprise…in a gift of presence…in a great cup of tea…

There are so many places to find God.

My son didn’t quite get this. He’s only 14, but such an inquisitive and exploring soul. I’m not sure if he really got the answers he was looking for but I must admit, I did.

You see the biggest revelation for me was a place that I find God that I haven’t mentioned yet.

I find God in the story. The story that will help you find yourself. The story that is so familiar, so moving and yet so distant to your awareness. The story that brings you home.

And it happens all the time. When I hear someone tell a story and though it’s their experience and their perspective, they can’t really see it for themselves. But I can. I can tell them their story and they see it fresh again. They see who they are and they understand their place in the world. And they feel healed.

It’s truly a moment in the presence of God.

And I am unbelievable humbled and honored to be there too.

Where do you find God? Share your story here.

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7 comments on “I’m coming out

  1. Yo LB, that was actually pretty great!!!

    Ok recovering dude, 32 years of continuous recovery qualifies me as a bad ass!! Humble too!! Seriously how many 54 year olds do you know has successfully been kicking addictions ass for 32 years???

    I even wrote a book about it and made videos!!! Why videos? Because this is 2016 not 1916 and everyone…..I mean everyone knows the best way to engage people with your stories is with video, not text. Video has moving parts to entertain the folks as the message is delivered to the grey matter.

    So this God thingy! Newly getting sober and after being agnostic…..in treatment decided I was going to have to admit complete defeat!!!!

    So I says to my counselor…..ok David, I am ready to find God.

    In perfect AA fashion he put my not right sized ego in place!!! He looked me lovingly in my lost eyes and said: Scott he ain’t lost. Point taken.

    Another great ah ha came Lisa during my seeking. Found another great story.

    Two small fish swimming around in the pond one day!!!! Blissful as they can be in their bliss.

    You know where this is going, right?

    Big fish passes by……mentions the water is great today, huh?

    The now bewildered small fish look at each other and ask each other what water is? Spend all day looking for it.

    Silly fish were in it all the time!

    Being a spiritual being having a human experience is mighty confusing ain’t it?

    Anyways in AA if done properly one is rocketed into the 4th Dimension.

    Ok what is that??? Lol

    A state of internal happiness not contingent on external circumstances.

    Living from the inside out rocks!!!

    I wrote a book and made videos about getting there called 12 Days to the 4th Dimension. Search on YouTube for my cool videos Lisa. They are really short and repetitive cause we are all into this immediate gratification thingy!

    Anyways LB your email today was a goodie! Inspired me to respond!!!

    Take care and never forget or realize for the first time the reservoir of wisdom and knowledge the drunks have been given to share with the world.

    When coming from a hopeless place of mind body and soul…..folks who live through it learn a thing or two about living with egos that are right sized!!!!

    You feel stories pack a wallop?? Listening to recovering folks tell theirs will knock your socks off and curl your toes.

    Our stories catapult people into the 4th Dimension, do yours?

    Allegedly!!!!! Lol

    We are an eachness in the allness of God whether we understand that or not.

    Carry on LB

    I Concur!!!!

    Scott P

    • You’re so right Scott – these are the most fascinating, important and moving stories of all. Thanks for sharing here, I appreciate you. I’ll check out your youtube videos too – Warm wishes, Lisa

  2. Thanks Lisa, because you turned a regular morning into a reflective morning, yes and I found God in your story , in the great ability you so generously share with anyone who takes some minutes to read your stories. This particular one moved me, and my tears showed me that God is in the simple conection among humans that can talk about the simplest things, like how to raise a child and let him be curious without questioning or judging, I appreciate that. Thanks again because you, far away in Israel reminded me that God is also here in Venezuela, although many may think he is hiding from us

    • Thank you Laly – I love that we are connected from other sides of the world, and I love that this was meaningful for you. Warm wishes, Lisa

  3. Lisa, I find God in the words and actions of others. It is through the words of others that god speaks to my heart. Through the words of others, God continues to lead me out of the darkness and heals my weary soul. The abusive actions of others brought me to the palace of seeking God for comfort and healing. God continues to bring people into my life to restore the oppression and to create a new heart in me. I’m blessed to have people such as yourself to share words and actions of compassion and mercy. They show me the way to find more of the glory of God. God Bless, Linda

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