Still Letting Myself Go

It took more than 3 weeks to make the decision.

This is not normal for me. I’m a pretty decisive person. I mean I have my deliberations, I think stuff through…but I can usually decide my direction fast.

letting go2Not this time. No way.

I have wanted to do this for more than 6 years. There were always reasons why it seemed impossible. Too expensive, too long, too far, not the right time.

Yes, a list of excuses as long as my arm.

This time felt different. I realized that I just don’t want to put it off forever.

And yet, it was so hard to make the decision.

One by one, the excuses dissolved. It was weird.

Too expensive? I discovered some money I had forgotten about – actually the exact sum I needed (that NEVER happens to me!).

Wrong time? Suddenly I noticed that my schedule was completely clear for these 2 weeks – and the one gig that seemed a sure deal, a month ago, got moved.

The kids? My love made it clear that all is well, he is here, and it would be no problem.

Then I realized that I had run out of excuses, and yet still I couldn’t say yes.

I sat myself down and thought about it long and hard.

It felt like it was something about permission. Giving myself permission to do this thing that would be an amazing experience for MY personal development.

No evidence that it would make me lots of money. Or that my business would have a clear and immediate benefit.

It is just for me. And it’s okay. Actually it’s more than okay.

It’s not indulgent to want to grow and learn and flourish.

I don’t need a reason to take this time to fulfill a dream.

I just have to let myself go and do it.

And so I have.

I’ve been off the grid to participate in The School for the Work – with Byron Katie.

I’ve followed her work for more than 10 years. It’s changed my life.

The School has been a dream and a goal.

And now I’m here.

I can’t wait to share what this means for me.

What dream are you putting off?
When will you be ready to let yourself go and just do it?

Share it below.

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2 comments on “Still Letting Myself Go

  1. I’m in a choir and have had a dream of singing on my own for some time, but fear and lack of money for singing lessons has held me back. It’s incredibly difficult to put yourself out there and sing in front of people solo. I have no confidence and have not had the budget for anything other than infrequent lessons. I tried open mic two or three times but had what basically amounted to panic attacks each time. I wish I could move beyond the fear and be able to afford lessons.

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