Telling the tough ones…and connecting

Did you ever notice what happens when you hear a
powerful story?

Can you see how we connect through story?

This connection is an important element of your
business and you can create it any time you
choose.

I’d like to tell you a story. It’s not an easy
one to tell…

But I’m really committed to voicing the tough
stories too…and to helping you voice your story
even if it’s not easy.

I had been travelling for quite a few years.
I’d seen some tough stuff.

It was a far cry from the protected idyllic
childhood I had come from.

I was working on cruise ships. It was an
exciting, exhilarating lifestyle.

It was a pretty dangerous environment. There was
a lot of booze, drugs and promiscuity.

You had to really look out for yourself, no one
else would.

My best friend was just about to transfer over to
join me on this new ship. I was excited to see
her. It had been a month since we shared cabins
on the last ship. We had a lot to catch up on.

The ship docked, the passengers disembarked, the
security officers and dogs came on board. They
were always on the look-out for drug smuggling.
Once we all got clearance, I ran ashore to phone
home, my weekly call…and then waited for my friend
to show up.

She looked different. Her eyes were dull, they
avoided catching mine. She hugged me and then
shrugged me off and asked about when we needed to
start work. She talked and moved fast but with a
kind of awkward distraction. She was changed.

Finally that evening, I pulled her aside. What
happened, I asked? Where are you?

She started crying. Slowly and painfully she
showed me the bruises; on her and inside of her.
She described the scene, the shock, how could this
be happening… again? Why me?

Her eyes searched mine for some kind of
explanation. I had none. I could only reflect
back the pain, shame, fear and disgust at the act
that she described.

It was not unfamiliar. I had come to realize that
all women experience a version of this. It might
be an unwanted look or comment, an inappropriate
touch, or much worse. I had had my fair share.
Who hasn’t?

We drank a lot that night. And in the hazy early
hours of the next morning, we stopped crying and
started laughing.

You might be reading this because you’ve had a
similar experience. Or you’ve had a friend tell
you their story.

You might still be here because it’s a compelling
subject, a difficult andrelevant one.

You might be reading because you’re uncomfortable
and wondering what’s next?

But you’re still here.

The story is very powerful.

And it creates connection. This friend and I are
no longer in touch. We parted ways when we left
the ships. But there is a part of her in my heart
always; not from sympathy or pity, but out of
genuine connection.

As she shared her story, I could connect to the
part of me that is injured and hurt. The part
that wants to cry out and the part that vows to be
strong and NEVER EVER let this kind of shit happen
again.

That’s a powerful connection. It’s the story
connection.

It doesn’t have to be a dramatic or traumatic
story. It just needs to be true. I call it the
story of you.

Imagine what it would be like if you could create
this kind of connection with your clients or the
people who show interest in your work?

This is the connection that creates trust.

The connection that is the essence of you, giving
your true value, heart and soul to the business
you love and the people you have committed to
serve.

It is a powerful story.
What is stopping you from telling it?

Please comment below and share this with someone
you care about.

Best wishes and best stories
Lisa

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6 comments on “Telling the tough ones…and connecting

  1. This story brought back old tears to my eyes. I have had the same look in my eyes even though it has been years since it happened. I have done loads of healing of this event and others in my life but at times stories like this still stir the old hurt and dismay that is a part of me. I have been hesitant to tell my story once again but yours stirred my old hurts that have been at rest.

    • Yes, this is so true! Dr. Lewis Mehl-Madrona, a medical doctor and clinical pshychologist gives story, or narrative, a central place in his healing work because of its power to change our lives when heard.

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