It goes something like this.
The tiniest thing happens and my imagination runs riot.
The baby starts coughing and I’m worrying how I’m going to get my work done with a sick child over the next 4 days.
The phone rings late at night and I get into a panic; who died?
The client doesn’t respond to my email and I lose concentration wondering if the deal is off.
At least, this is how it used to be.
I used to joke, why wait for something bad to happen if you can start worrying about it now.
In truth, it can kill you; literally, kill you. In fact, I’ve know some people that have become seriously ill or possibly even died from worry.
And yet, I think in the past, despite what I know and can i figure out intellectually, I’ve been a more than average worrier.
Brene Brown (love, love, love her work) in ‘the Gifts of Imperfection’ talks about how we practice disaster thinking that it will help us prepare in the event that what we dread actually comes about. And how wrong we are, those who have experienced disaster know that there is no preparation.
And yet this is what most of us do.
And it’s exhausting, and stressful.
Well last week, I had one of the worst phone-calls of my life. The car crash, the emergency room, the unknown outcome.
And despite all this, I didn’t go there. I didn’t imagine the worst. I didn’t think about the various possible worst case scenarios. I didn’t worry about how I would manage.
Every time my mind drifted in that direction, I gently pulled it back to the present. I stayed focus, didn’t feel panic, didn’t even become fearful.
I was completely present and calm.
Now I’m no guru. Sure I meditate a bit, even pray sometimes, and do a tad of mindfulness.
So how did this happen?
Well that’s what I was wondering all week. Why was I so calm, collected and cool? Why didn’t I freak out?
I realized that it’s the story work. I have spent years understanding in my heart and soul that our stories create our reality. And I knew in that moment that the only reality we needed was to stay focused, present and calm.
I didn’t have to think about it. I didn’t have to figure it out.
I just stayed in the only story that matters. The present story. The now story. The moment that was.
It was a profoundly moving to realize – this stuff really works.
Story work is life work.
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